Arsenal banter 70362

 

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20 Mar 2019 20:42:37
I hate international breaks on here - very quiet! A couple of years ago we had a joke telling session during the international break and ed025 gave us by way of joke quality a prem or EFL team . My best joke still only managed Wolves but look at them now! I’ll start and see what happens! Two portly gentlemen sitting at the bar . One says to the other “ your round “ the other replies so are you you fat ( word that Chelsea fan uses in front of his kids )

{Ed025's Note - nice one sussex..

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20 Mar 2019 21:04:18
Nice one as in Macclesfield or nice one as in Crystal Palace? Great to have you back on the Arsenal site still dropping that shoulder and drinking southern comfort? 😂 COYG.

20 Mar 2019 21:22:26
The jokeathon was brilliant Sussex mate, if I remember rightly Banbury was crowned supreme champion and Ed025 invented another award for Dags to win so he didn't sulk :-)
I think my efforts earned me a Cowdenbeath:-)

20 Mar 2019 22:57:37
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it might be me.

21 Mar 2019 05:46:31
Ive just got a bike for my wife. It was the best deal I've ever done.

21 Mar 2019 06:02:49
What's a pirate's favourite letter?
Aye, ye may think it be R, but a pirate's true love be the C.

21 Mar 2019 07:05:52
I was at the climbing centre the other day but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall!

Honestly, you couldn’t make it up.

21 Mar 2019 12:14:50
What do you need to know to be an auctioneer?
Lots.

21 Mar 2019 14:41:35
Just heard there is a cure for Dyslexia!

It was music to my arse.

21 Mar 2019 16:35:52
I had an accident with a chainsaw the other day, i cut off my left leg, my left arm, my left ear and my left eye out but i'm all right now.

21 Mar 2019 19:55:05
I went to see a medium night last week and the bloke on stage asked has anyone in the audience ever seen a ghost? About 7 of us put our hands up.
He then asked has anyone ever made love to a ghost? And I was the only one to put my hand up,
I was excitedly invited onto the stage and the man asked " would you like to tell the audience what it's like to make love to a ghost " at this point the penny dropped and I had quickly say " I'm really sorry I thought you said has anyone made love to a Goat "
Talk about making a fool of yourself in public :-)

21 Mar 2019 20:18:27
Went to see the doctor today for the 12th time this month and on top of everything else, apparently now I've I only gone and got something called HYPOCHONDRIA whatever that is!

{Ed002's Note - He is a Brazilian winger, but I would not hold your breath about him joing arsenal.}

21 Mar 2019 20:31:31
I asked the wife the other day to help me out and let me know when she has an orgasm. She told me that she would but she doesn't like ringing me when i'm at work.

21 Mar 2019 23:08:45
My doctor has given me some anti gloating cream.

I can’t wait to rub it in!

21 Mar 2019 23:17:28
So I shouted downstairs to my wife last night, “Have you seen my cocaine? ”

“Yes” she said, “Wasn’t he the guy in the film Zulu”.

22 Mar 2019 01:23:59
Its my wifes birthday, she asked me to get something to make her look sexy and attractive. I bought myself a bottle of vodka.

21 Mar 2019 20:28:41
Shame because he'd fit in well :-)

22 Mar 2019 10:59:57
I like Pochettino's joke of a few weeks back. Spurs are title contenders.

22 Mar 2019 13:35:19
I went to see a faith healer last night.

He was absolutely rubbish, even a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

22 Mar 2019 14:54:24
Really sad news about the death of the guy who invented anagrams! May he ‘ erect a penis ‘.

22 Mar 2019 19:56:15
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.

I said “40”.

22 Mar 2019 21:11:00
My mate swallowed his phone and got it stuck in his throat, idiot, I could ring his neck!

23 Mar 2019 08:27:47
How come cans of evaporated milk are always full when you buy them?

Why are supermarket chemist's always right at the back of the store so all the sick people have to walk furthest?







 

 

 
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